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Chapter 12 of The Bloody Funny History of Rome
explains all about Roman gods, religion and worship, beginning with the Adopt-a-god
policy which saw everybody else's gods now fighting on Rome's side. The
poet Ovid’s Metamorphoses is a hilarious Roman
retelling of the very best Greek myths, followed by the manly hero Herc the jerk building
a Roman temple with the entry sign: "No dogs or flies
allowed." The Saturn alias describes Rome's annual
Saturnalia festival where the upturned world of Saturn allows slaves to lord it
over their masters. The poet Martial is so disgusted with the poor
quality of his Saturnalia presents that he pens two entire books of gift
ideas. The wine god Bacchus is Drunk and disorderly, the
phallic god Proud Priapus is outstanding, and
Awkward St Augustine complains about these outrageous lewd
pagan practices, where even the
Vestigial virgins aren't. The Sibyl quibble interprets
gobble-de-Greek, oracular utterances, and Portentous prodigies.
We even give you your very own genuine multipurpose Roman curse (just
fill in the blanks).
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