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Chapter 10 of The Bloody Funny History of Rome
sees the Tarentum
tantrum of the drunken Greeks sink the Roman navy for a laugh.
The outraged Roman ambassador demands that they sober up, and finds his
toga used as an end-wipe. Rome declares war, so the Greeks hire Uncle Pyrrhus' rent-an-army with its Elegant elephants. The defeated
Romans are in Dis dress until cranky old blind Appius Claudius
decides that he won't accept bribes (or wear a dress), and Rome's Loose
change invents their own money. "Another win like this and I'm
lost," is the Pyrrhic valedictory. Malventum (Bad-wind)
becomes Beneventum (Good-event) when burning hogs scare the elephants so Rome "wins when pigs fry!"
Pyrrhus' defeat stuns the civilized Greek world: "Who the heck
are these unknown barbarian upstart Romans?!"
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