Chapter 9 of The Bloody Funny History of Rome begins with the
1st damn Samnite War which is followed by the 2nd son of
Samnite War which leads to the 3rd play it again Samnite War
and finally culminates in the Ganged-up Samnite, Etruscan,
Umbrian, and hired Gauls War and Flattened Latins again.
Despite being corked, Rome defeats all-comers, and the Samnites finally
surrender to Dentatus (Tough-teeth) who offers to share the
rancid bowl of turnips he's chewing for supper. Senseless censors
are appointed to uphold Rome's moral code, and Culpable Aesculapius
arrives as the healing god disguised as a Greek snake.