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CONTENTS          
0 Home
1 Introduction
2 Sex Please
3 Rome Antics
4 Rome Spell Neat
5 Kin King Klan King
6 Romana Be Public
7 Patrician Attrition
8 Appalling Gaul
9 Roaming Italy
10 Satiric Pyrrhic
11 Rome In Poem
12 Gods Be Lazy
13 Conclusion

 


9 ROAMING ITALY


Chapter 9 of The Bloody Funny History of Rome begins with the 1st damn Samnite War which is followed by the 2nd son of Samnite War which leads to the 3rd play it again Samnite War and finally culminates in the Ganged-up Samnite, Etruscan, Umbrian, and hired Gauls War and Flattened Latins again. Despite being corked, Rome defeats all-comers, and the Samnites finally surrender to Dentatus (Tough-teeth) who offers to share the rancid bowl of turnips he's chewing for supper. Senseless censors are appointed to uphold Rome's moral code, and Culpable Aesculapius arrives as the healing god disguised as a Greek snake.

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