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Hear the consul Pulvillus (Little-pillow) sing
the famous "Consuls' Drinking Song" I’VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF CO-CONSULS
(To the tune of I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts) which
boasts about the way the consuls could rewrite the fasti (consul
list) to give themselves famous ancestors. Feel free to join in,
especially if you have famous ancestors, or want some.
LYRICS
Down at the forum square
the fasti appear queer
when I hear a Roman
shouting of his grand forebear:
“Oh, I’ve got a lovely bunch of co-consuls
there they are all written in a row (Wife: unus, duo, tres!)
Collatinus, Poplicola, one called Stupid-head
an historical list, a flick of the wrist
will edit my name instead!
Oi, I’ve got a lovely bunch of co-consuls
adding my family name will make me rich (Wife: et me amor!)
and there stands me wife, I wrote her a new life, singing
roll a consul scroll add any which!
Roll a consul scroll add any which
roll a consul scroll add any which
roll a consul scroll
roll a consul scroll
rolling a consul scroll may add a glitch!
Oh, I’ve got a lovely bunch of co-consuls
wouldn’t you like your name to make a switch? (Wife: et tu nomen?)
just pay me wife, and I’ll write you a new life, singing
roll a consul scroll add any snitch!”
The
Roman Monarchy ended when the
last king was kicked out. The Roman Republic was a new political system
which saw two consuls
elected each year, who spent most of their time bickering and accusing the other
of wanting to be king. The dating system was changed so that events were
recorded as "being in the year of the consulship of so and
so." This meant that although the consul Barbatus
(Bushy-beard) might have had a bad year because he lost a war, his name
might still be well-remembered in later years when those drinking the
best wine read the label: "Bottled in the consulship of Barbatus."
The consuls were imbued with “imperium” giving them the power
to inflict death on any foreigner, which was why Paul of Tarsus smugly
announced, “I’m a Roman citizen!” He therefore got a proper Roman
trial, and was beheaded instead of crucified.
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