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CONTENTS          
0 Home
1 Introduction
2 Sex Please
3 Rome Antics
4 Rome Spell Neat
5 Kin King Klan King
6 Romana Be Public
7 Patrician Attrition
8 Appalling Gaul
9 Roaming Italy
10 Satiric Pyrrhic
11 Rome In Poem
12 Gods Be Lazy
13 Conclusion

 


4 WOULD A ROME BY ANY OTHER NAME SPELL AS NEAT?


Chapter 4 of The Bloody Funny History of Rome begins with Longa tales telling the long-tale of how Little Juli named Alba Longa (Long Blonde) after his pet pig. Rhea Silvia, Rome's Mama Mia is a virgin who has twins. Roman bites wolf is a headline that describes the babes being suckled by a she-wolf. Romulus remiss sees Romulus strike Remus dead, who he didn't and did miss. Romulus captures some wives for his followers in the Rap of the Sabine Women. Fearful of Rome's growing power The Etruscan League attacks. The senate murder their king and cover up by claiming that he's risen to heaven in Romulus rose. The Romans made up this earliest part of their history, and it could be the one case where fiction is stranger than truth!

TODAY'S NEW CARTOON

New Page 1

TODAY'S NEW MUSING

Bloody Funny Daily Message

LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF


Hear Romulus and Remus singing LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF (as sung by Louis Armstrong) Make sure you don't sing along with the wrong twin, though, as they have been known to get violent if you disagree with them.

LYRICS
You say Rome, I say Reme
You say Palatine, I say Aventine
Rome, Reme, Palatine, Aventine
Letís call the whole thing off!

You say Veii, I say Veii
You say C, I say K
Veii, Veii, Cicero, Kickero
Letís call the whole thing off!

You say Kaiser, I say Caesar
You speak proper Latin, I speak Vulgarisa
Kaiser, Caesar, Latin, Vulgarisa
Letís call the whole thing off!

You say Reme, I say Rome
You say Domus, I say Home
Reme, Rome, Domus, Home
Letís call the whole thing off!

 

RAP OF THE SABINE WOMEN


Hear the out-of-tune Sabine Women singing the RAP OF THE SABINE WOMEN At first the women were upset to have been tricked and kidnapped, but when the Romans were extra-nice to them they soon mellowed and enjoyed life as the wives of Roman conquerors.



LYRICS

The Rap of the Sabine Women
Rome's invitation was a bad omen
The Rap of the Sabine Women
I'm silly Hersilia is my agnomen
The Rap of the Sabine Women
Now I'm preggers with a big abdomen
The Rap of the Sabine Women
And my husband's a roaming Roman
The Rap of the Sabine Women
Slave my hair needs combing
The Rap of the Sabine Women
Now I'm Roman homing!



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