BLOODY  FUNNY  HISTORY 

4 WOULD A ROME BY ANY OTHER NAME SPELL AS NEAT?

Chapter 4 of The Bloody Funny History of Rome begins with Longa tales telling the long-tale of how Little Juli named Alba Longa (Long Blonde) after his pet pig. Rhea Silvia, Rome's Mama Mia is a virgin who has twins. Roman bites wolf is a headline that describes the babes being suckled by a she-wolf. Romulus remiss sees Romulus strike Remus dead, who he didn't and did miss. Romulus captures some wives for his followers in the Rap of the Sabine Women. Fearful of Rome's growing power The Etruscan League attacks. The senate murder their king and cover up by claiming that he's risen to heaven in Romulus rose. The Romans made up this earliest part of their history, and it could be the one case where fiction is stranger than truth!

TODAY'S NEW CARTOON

TODAY'S NEW MUSING

LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF

Hear Romulus and Remus singing LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF (as sung by Louis Armstrong) Make sure you don't sing along with the wrong twin, though, as they have been known to get violent if you disagree with them. LYRICS You say Rome, I say Reme You say Palatine, I say Aventine Rome, Reme, Palatine, Aventine Let’s call the whole thing off! You say Veii, I say Veii You say C, I say K Veii, Veii, Cicero, Kickero Let’s call the whole thing off! You say Kaiser, I say Caesar You speak proper Latin, I speak Vulgarisa Kaiser, Caesar, Latin, Vulgarisa Let’s call the whole thing off! You say Reme, I say Rome You say Domus, I say Home Reme, Rome, Domus, Home Let’s call the whole thing off!

RAP OF THE SABINE WOMEN

Hear the out-of-tune Sabine Women singing the RAP OF THE SABINE WOMEN At first the women were upset to have been tricked and kidnapped, but when the Romans were extra-nice to them they soon mellowed and enjoyed life as the wives of Roman conquerors. LYRICS The Rap of the Sabine Women Rome's invitation was a bad omen The Rap of the Sabine Women I'm silly Hersilia is my agnomen The Rap of the Sabine Women Now I'm preggers with a big abdomen The Rap of the Sabine Women And my husband's a roaming Roman The Rap of the Sabine Women Slave my hair needs combing The Rap of the Sabine Women Now I'm Roman homing!

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