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CONTENTS          
0 Home
1 Introduction
2 Sex Please
3 Rome Antics
4 Rome Spell Neat
5 Kin King Klan King
6 Romana Be Public
7 Patrician Attrition
8 Appalling Gaul
9 Roaming Italy
10 Satiric Pyrrhic
11 Rome In Poem
12 Gods Be Lazy
13 Conclusion

 

3 ROME ANTICS


Chapter 3 of The Bloody Funny History of Rome begins with Homer's Illogical Iliad, the Odious Odyssey and The Other Secret Roman Iliad Homerus Latinus written in Latin for those that can't read Greek. We look at Virgil's epic Annoyed Aeneid and what was Found in translation by Chaucer who "pray that my English be understonde, God I beseech!" and the Scottish Eneados "hoots mon!" Aeneas taunts the Cyclops ("Hah, Odysseus may say he's No-Body, but I'm Any-Ass!"), seduces the Queen of Carthage (Libido of Dido) and visits the Underworld - "May the gods not blast me for revealing the secrets of the Afterlife!" We laugh at Servius' hilarious Commentary on the Aeneid (which still hasn't been translated into goode English), the Virgilomastix (Virgil-whipper), Fracastoro's epic Syphilis, or the French Pox, and Geoffrey of Monmouth's amazing British King History which shows how the British are descended from the Trojans too! 

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